Last week, I received a sixth invitation for a wedding taking place within the next two and a half months. Some people might find that annoying. Or expensive. I do not.
You see, I LOVE weddings. Well, I love attending weddings. I’m not so crazy that I watch wedding reality tv shows, I don't want to have another wedding, and I don’t think I had any bridezilla freak outs in the 6 month engagement I had.
But I will absolutely cry during your vows. And probably your first dance.
If we’re being really honest, I’ll probably get teary during your toasts.
Oh, and I love cake! But I won’t cry over it.
And I get to wear a fancy dress that I can move around in. Wedding gowns are hard to freak dance in, just sayin’.
Since my own wedding three years ago, only one other couple I know has gotten married (Go Sean and Morgan!). When I realized that this summer is the summer that every 20-somethings have where nearly every couple they know gets married, I was stoked. Six parties with our friends with food provided and dancing? I’m so in!
And it also during this time that I am beyond relieved that I am also married, but not for reasons you might expect.
I just really loathe the bouquet toss.
I don’t know why, but I do. I never wanted to catch it when I was unmarried and I don’t understand women who go nuts over trying to catch it. I’m also not about to rip someone’s dress off trying to claw my way to a bunch of flowers, however pretty, in some symbolic “we are next!” kind of gesture.
And what man needs the pressure of his girlfriend pronouncing to several dozen, possibly hundreds of people what amounts to, “I’m just waiting for you to ask, buddy!”?
At Jerry’s aunt’s wedding, I tried to “go to the restroom” during the toss, that’s how much I dislike potentially being the center of unwanted attention. I was quickly busted by the family, though, and shooed over to the mix of single ladies vying for the flowers.
I shyly stood next to my cousin’s fiancée, Ashleigh, trying to stay in the back and out of range from flying flora.
Wait, I said to Ashleigh, You’re engaged! You shouldn’t be out here! This is cheating!
(I like rules!)
At that same moment, Jerry’s aunt launched the bouquet straight at Ashleigh, who then chest bumped it off of her…
…right into my unsuspecting hands.
A set up! The whole thing had been planned and apparently Jerry and I were the only ones who didn’t know. The pictures of me holding this bouquet are awesome. My face is one of mortification and How in the hell did this happen?!
I’ll never forget looking right at Jerry with I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to! all over my face. He was ghost white and shocked.
But, for as much bashing as I’ve given the bouquet toss, we were the next couple to get married in the family.
And I also threw it at my own wedding. Because I’m a hypocrite!
While I’m really looking forward to the nuptials of J&S, A&K, M&S, S&J, J&C, and A&C, I’m also glad that I don’t have to find ways to weasel out of trying to catch the bouquet.
Although…I might have to arrange it so the bouquet “mysteriously bounces” off me right into J.Bell’s hands! Look out, Ian!
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