Recently, To Hatch has come under fire for their plan to have a monthly lottery for fertility services.
I've visited To Hatch a few times when looking up information throughout my on-going experiences with infertility; and while I've never felt compelled to become a member (membership is free), some of the information available has been helpful. What I especially appreciated was the advice about obtaining a referral to an infertility specialist from your general practitioner. Now, To Hatch is registered in England where there is the National Health Service. I assume that this means, under the NHS, that a person must obtain a referral to a specialist before being seen for infertility. To Hatch's website makes it seem as though some GP's might be difficult to obtain a referral from. I have private health insurance with an HMO here in the US but my experience has been similarly difficult.
My husband and I first began trying to conceive a year or so after we married, after some difficult and unexplained gynecological problems. That experience made me worry that getting pregnant might not be as easy as we'd thought but no doctor I encountered seemed too concerned once the dire possibilities turned out to be false. 18 months later, I visited my GP to express my concerns about not getting pregnant. I'd done all the usual things--I monitored, I tested, I peed on a lot of various sticks--without ever getting a positive pregnancy test. My GP brushed me off with a flippant response that all my bloodwork was fine and, since I do not have endometriosis, I just needed to wait, *relax* and see what happens. Her rationale for this "diagnosis" was my age. At nearly 25, I had "plenty of time" to get pregnant.
Finding this response unacceptable and feeling confident in my ability to know my own body, I made an appointment with an OB/GYN specialist. When I went in for the first exam, I discussed (and cried about) my concerns with the doctor. She was the only one who heard my concerns from a medical standpoint and didn't see me as an impatient young woman with many childbearing years ahead of her. She agreed that a referral to the infertility clinic would be a smart idea. After seeing four doctors since the beginning, I had finally found a doctor who would give a me a referral.
I find my experience relevant to the article for a few reasons. One, I understand the frustration infertility brings from an emotional standpoint as well as the frustrating aspect of trying to get your doctor to take you seriously in order to get a referral for the next step. For that, I appreciate what To Hatch attempts to do. Bringing support, advice, and validation to the discussion is always a positive. Furthermore, if it weren't for my private insurance, I wouldn't have even gotten this far in my experience with infertility. My insurance covers all family planning, including infertility treatments. For this, I recognize that I am incredibly lucky--without this insurance, Jerry and I wouldn't have been able to afford everything the experiences cost. One round of our treatments can cost anywhere between 600 and 1000 dollars, not including the multiple steps and tests it took to even get to that point. More aggressive treatments like IVF can cost many thousands more. We would have budgeted and saved to do this, of course, but it might have meant putting off the desire to start a family for many more years. I understand just how incredible it is that fertility treatments are not considered "elective" under my policy.
So, from a financial standpoint, I can understand why a lottery for fertility treatments might seem appealing to some who do not have the options I do. Personally, I'm not a gambler of any kind so I probably wouldn't buy a ticket at all; however, if I was looking to find a way to cover the costs of treatments because I had no other way, I might be tempted.
I actually don't see any problem with this lottery. I fail to see how buying a ticket to win the chance for £25,000 in fertility treatments is any different than buying a raffle ticket to win a vacation to Cabo, or a new car, or anything. If To Hatch was giving away £25,000 with which the winner could do whatever he or she pleased, I do not think that this would have caused a stir. So, if a charity that specializes in infertility issues wants to hold a charity fundraiser where the grand prize is a customized fertility plan, what's the problem?
In my opinion, the problem is the media surrounding this. The headliner "Win a Baby" is misleading and wrong. No one is going to give me someone else's fetus in a fancy gift basket if I were to enter and win. Josephine Quintavalle's snippet from the article, "It is surely not legal to pay £20 to have access to another woman's womb" is also flawed for a variety of reasons. Firstly, is the problem because the winner might only be paying £20 in order use a surrogate--would a higher bid be acceptable in oder to have access-- or is it that a surrogate is being used at all? Quintavalle's rhetorical question is implying that the winner would be able to run the streets and force a woman to surrender her womb instead of acknowledging the fact that surrogates graciously agree to carry a child for someone else. I find her claim that this lottery trivializes human reproduction to be outlandish; people undergo fertility treatments every day, all over the word; so long as it apparently isn't won through a raffle for charity, no one is fighting it.
The comments below the article are the most frustrating to me. There is a lot of judgement and stigma surrounding the discussion of infertility treatment, as though it is a superficial enhancement undergone for fun or some sort of fad. And while I'll admit that I still get hurt and angry when I recall a pregnant woman telling me--right after she asked me about my infertility treatments--that she'd "never go through fertility treatments because, like, if its meant to be it will happen if God wants it to," I still refuse to be shamed about my choices to undergo treatment for something I have no control over. The "playing God" argument is only fair if you refuse to use modern medicine at all. That tylenol you took, that epidural you're getting, those prenatal vitamins and tests...those should all fall under your umbrella of the "playing God" judgement. Very few people would tell someone facing a cancer diagnosis not to get chemo because that's messing with (your) God's plan and I don't think it is right for those of us who are facing infertility to be given lesser consideration.
Other comments suggesting infertile couples "just adopt" are baseless. Adoption isn't a catch-all solution to fill the void infertility causes individuals. Personally, I yearn to experience being pregnant and giving birth a child that is genetically mine and my husband's. Additionally, adoption isn't only an option for infertile couples and the responsibility to adopt needy children isn't only the responsibility of those who cannot procreate naturally. Children in need are a responsibility that should be shared by everyone in society, not just a quick-fix thrown into the laps of those of us who want children but aren't able to do so as readily as the majority of the population. And believe me, as I am already a foster mother, I can tell you that navigating the road to legal guardianship and formal adoption is tricky and likely just as expensive as treatments for infertility.
The only point that has given me pause has been from my wise friend, J, who said, "Well, seems like the last thing folks having trouble conceiving--with their invested hopes and money, the wait and often disappointment--[need] is to enter a lottery, where "winning" is even less plausible." If you are someone struggling with infertility and are already looking at giving up trying to conceive because you cannot afford to begin (or continue) treatment, then why not buy a raffle ticket (assuming you can afford even that) that might give you the chance to get a customized treatment plan you otherwise wouldn't have? Other than what amounts to roughly 40 bucks, you don't have much to lose. I definitely see my friend's point, and I agree that there is a little bit of exploitation involved because the people who are most likely to buy the tickets are those who are desperate to have such an opportunity. And while I agree that the last thing *I* need is more hope and possibly eventual disappointment in my own journey to parenthood, I know that I'd rather have a unique, albeit highly unlikely, chance to achieve pregnancy than be faced with realization that there is no chance at all.
*My personal experiences with infertility and some basic internet research I've done are the only basis for my opinions; any inaccuracies are my own.*
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